Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
