i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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