do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
