I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
