I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
