I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize