Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
