Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
