just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
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as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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