is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize