they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
