I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
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But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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