I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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