She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize