nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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