Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
