I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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