Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
