We won't sleep together?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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