Already got asked if we're dating
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
