I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize