let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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