Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
