Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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