hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
