Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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