Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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