i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
