Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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