i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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