I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
