She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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