not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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