She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
