we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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