My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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