i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
