Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
