Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
