The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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