the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
