No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
