I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
