Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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