Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
