I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think a kid would responsible me up
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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