It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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