he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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