and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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