you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
handjob tips. give me some.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize