Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
