I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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