Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
