escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
