Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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