You surviving the open bar?
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the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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