Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
