i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
