Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
