That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
